How Can We Motivate Others? 💭

I often work with leaders, service providers, managers, parents & entrepreneurs who are SO FRUSTRATED that the people around them are:

  • Not engaged
  • Lazy
  • Lacking interest
  • Aren’t supportive
  • Negative or pessimistic
  • Resistant or defiant

Bottom line is they’re not into personal development (like you!!)

How to MOTIVATE people to create & sustain momentum for lasting growth:

Before I share tactics for motivating others, I want to preface it by saying this:

Your job is NOT to change or ‘fix’ people. Everyone doesn’t have the same ambitions. Some people strive for the next level while others are okay keeping the status quo. Not everyone will be as optimistic / driven as you & may be motivated by different things.

We’re not responsible for other people’s ambition / passion. Just as you desire people to let you be you, it’s important that you come to terms with allowing them to be them.


Karen Dubi life coaching Long Island
  1. We support what we create!

If you want to motivate someone, they MUST be involved in the strategy / planning of the idea. They need to be involved, otherwise they’ll be critical & less likely to do anything.

  1. Invite them to participate.

When they have the creative idea, they’re motivated. Be curious & ask them questions about their passions, desires, hopes & challenges. Let them generate the ideas & they’ll feel motivated because they have skin in the game.

If they are not participating, you have not asked them the right questions – keep probing and prompting to extract their passions and insights. If they share their goal AND they’re still unmotivated, it is likely they don’t have the competency. Essentially, they lack the map. They simply don’t know how. As a result, they feel less confident and lack motivation.

When they have knowledge, skill and ability, they will be more motivated. Think about a kid taking an exam – if they have the proper study material and they understand the content, they will be more prepared for the test.


  1. Ask them what they need.

Ask if they have what they need. Empower people with the ability to access resources to support them. If you can help provide the appropriate resources, mentors & tools, they’ll have a greater sense of assurance & it will enhance productivity.

  1. Give them decision-making authority.

Let them “try” and by try, I’m referring more to experimenting than to experiencing. There’s a learning curve. Support them with this journey and encourage them to be okay when initially they feel like a “hot mess.”

  1. Cheer them on when they’re stuck / failing.

If people believe they are doing it wrong, they will be unmotivated. Reframe the notion of failure or unsuccessful attempts as merely feedback to improve.

  1. Have goals and rewards.

Often when people seem unmotivated, it’s usually because they don’t even have goals, so learn to draw that out from them with questions like, “If you had whatever you wanted in life, what would that look like?”

The critical part of this tactic is to LISTEN FIRST, then have them work backwards to the present moment and follow up with another question like, “What would you need / what needs to be in place in order to make that happen?” or “What is something you could do in the next 30 days to start that?”

A one month goal is a good initial timeline for an unmotivated person. Discover small steps AND create a reward. At the end of one month, when you do this, how will you want to celebrate? See the short-term celebration and get them to focus more on the win than the work. Get them excited to talk about want so their attention is not on the grind.

  1. Remember you are the role model.

If you are leading and living with motivation and drive, it’s your job to share your wins along the way. It’s important to be in dialogue about your passions and insights in your own journey. The lessons you’ve learned, the mistakes you’ve made, the growth you’ve experienced in the process are all motivating. Share your journey. Your success is empowering!!

People thrive from observing role models who can pass on their standards & achievements. You can be their spark.

To conclude, I want to share two quotes from Zig Ziglar that hit home on this topic:

“People often say motivation doesn’t last. Neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.”

“You will get all you want in life, if you help other people get what they want.”

Make a commitment to serve, to motivate and inspire. Identify and understand other people’s moods, desires, fears and intentions and you will get them to participate. Always keep the belief that you are a force to motivate others.

Love, Karen

For information on high performance coaching, contact me for a free consultation today.