Showing Up! with Karen Dubi, mentor & life coach in Long Island, NY
If you want to grow, develop, improve and create change in your life – you must show up consistently.
Hello everyone. Welcome to flexible mindset strategies. This is our community base.
Today I was called out by one of my mentors who said, you got to show up and that’s true for me. And I tell this to my clients and people I work with. However, I also need to show up.
So I have this community that I’ve wanted to build here, and I haven’t really been doing enough to build this community. So here I am. I’m going to make a challenge for myself. And if you want to join me, think of somewhere in your life that you’re not showing up enough and choose for the next 30 days to show up every day, because we get in our own way.
We don’t show up for the things that we want to show up for. We don’t do the things that we say we want to do. In fact, I just finished a book which is off to the editors right now called The Art of Getting Out of Your Own Way. And it’s chock full of ideas and methods to get out of your own way and develop what’s called the growth mindset, an innate ability to learn and grow.
If you believe that you can learn and you can grow, then you can develop the skills to do anything that you’d like to do. But what happens is we get in our own way, we’re filled with self doubt, worry, fear of what other people will think. Fear of just showing up. Sometimes it could be fear of failure and sometimes it can be fear of success.
So what I want to do for the next few days consecutively is show up here. Each day I want to go over different positions in the world of NLP. Neuro-linguistic programming is basically these assumptions, these assumptions kind of that are set forth for us. You don’t have to believe them, but if you believe them, they give you an opportunity to really develop what is called the growth mindset rather than being stuck in a fixed mindset.
A fixed mindset is when you believe that this is it, this is the cards I’ve been dealt. This is how it’s going to be. It’s not going to get any better. I was either born with the talent or I was born without it. I have the gift or I don’t have the gift. Often we start looking at other people – how they have succeeded because they have natural talent. They have this natural gift that we are lacking. So that’s a fixed mindset.
Truth be told is we all fall into fixed mindsets from time to time. The idea is to expand our growth mindset and slip less into the fixed mindset. We’re always going to vacillate between the fixed and the growth mindset, but we want to stay in the growth mindset longer, more often, more frequently. So the presupposition that I’m going to go over today is again, is this assumption or a belief that we have.
Now, if you have the belief that you make mistakes and errors and that you fail, and each failure has led you to your limits that you currently have, then you’re going to be stuck in that limitation of failure. We all have failed. Think of something that you failed with. Everyone has failed at something!
Everyone makes mistakes, but we can use the presupposition of there’s no such thing as legitimate failure, only feedback. If we can use that premise or that idea, that every time we fail, every time we make a mistake, every time we have an error, it’s an opportunity for growth. It’s an opportunity to learn.
Just this morning, my son texted me that he didn’t do well on a test. And I said, okay, how will you do better on the next test? Will you learn the information or the things that you did incorrectly on this test or that you didn’t understand this time so that you can prove next time? Sometimes our biggest mistakes are our biggest lessons to teach us for the next time. So no failure, only feedback. If you have that kind of mindset, that growth mindset, that ability to think that you can learn from your mistakes, your errors, and you can grow and expand from that.
Then it will put you more into a state of mind where you’re constantly willing, able, and ready to learn. So each day I’m going to come here for the next few days, at least to talk about growth mindset and the presuppositions of neuro-linguistic programming. And today’s presupposition is no failure. Only feedback
So anyway, I was saying earlier that my mentor actually called me out on this today. He said, you’re not showing up. You say, you want to grow your business. You say, you want to reach more clients. You say you want to reach more people, but you’re not showing up. So the idea here is in order for me to ask that of people in my community of the people I work with to show up, then I legitimately had to show up myself.
So for the next 30 days, I’m going to show up here every single day, give you a small talk. We’re going to talk about presuppositions. We’re going to talk about neuro-linguistic programming. Self-hypnosis how you can help yourself. I’ll talk to you a little bit about some excerpts of my book. I have a whole bunch of information that I can share with you, at little bits and pieces at a time.
SCHEDULE A CALL WITH ME: Fill out a short form, and then we can talk about ways that you and I can work together. We set up a short call and work on your own unique individual strategies and goals that you have in mind. All right, till tomorrow, have a great day.